Sometimes real life and fiction are not that far apart. When I write about a character I get to know them, they become a real person with thoughts and feelings and interact with the other characters. They live, they feel, they work, they have success and failures and on top of all of those they suffer hurt.
When my characters get hurt, whether it is physical or emotional hurt, it is me that inflicts that hurt on them. I do it without a thought and there's no come back. They just accept their fate and get on with it. Sometimes by the end of the book the pain has been forgotten and they come out on top.
Even if it is you who hurts someone else you still experience some sort of hurt yet your feelings are not considered because we tend to sympathise more with the victim.
Usually we hit out at others because we are hurting ourselves, maybe in a different way but hurting all the same.
I try and analyse people the same way that I do with my characters because I spend a lot of time with them. I also put myself in the spotlight a bit too often and analyse myself way too much under interrogation. A nice quiet and peaceful life seems so easy to achieve, yet we have the ability to destroy others people's feelings all too easily.
Keep reading and I will keep writing.